"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist and my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft, thoughtful  voice,
"Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Funeral Services will be held this Saturday at 2:00 p.m.